The Alchemy of Self. by Ash Jetson

 

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The alchemy of self is a personal one, and the highest art to achieve. i practiced it the point between night and day, at moonset. Right before dawn with my realizations, the early morning was my ascent. To the realms unknown, or to places so familiar they feel like places within myself. The familiar places teaching what can be taught many ways, and the unknown places teaching what can only be taught by the self. The art was part of my nature, and i grew to know it as a truth.

The alchemy of self was awakening. It took me to different matrices of reality, dimensions within dimensions from the macrocosm to the microcosm. And still, it always brought me back within. Perception was a great question to me from a young age, how yours could be different than mine. In the search for absolutes, i found that the individual's perception is one's own truth, and that is true for every person.
The answer lie not in the many differences, but in the one similarity. The art was unifying, and it made one thing all and all things one.

i'm reminded of the idea of liberation in Buddhism. Moksha is the freedom from negative experience and the hindrances to pure consciousness, and it's the feeling experienced at the point of nirvana or enlightenment. i don't claim to be enlightened, but i have felt liberation from the darkness of existence and the obstacles to thought and happiness. i haven't reached the one major catharsis that the Buddha reached under that tree, but i have had many minor enlightenments and revelatory moments that have brought me further along my spiritual path and to a state of being i once could not have imagined. The art is a transformative one, and it all starts with the imagination.

i've written music for half my life now, and its been one of my greatest tools in the alchemy of self. Writing lyrics that put into words the heights and depths of my experience here, that challenge the limits of words and rhyme, that give life to emotion, and that inspire and give encouragement to people who have gone through the same things i have, has been a true testament to what creation can do. Even before making music, i was expressing myself in different ways. Drawing from early on, breakdancing, doing magic tricks. Expression was always a part of my life and has formed me into the alchemist i am today. Most don't realize, but even those who aren't creative express themselves daily. Through the words they speak, through the time they share, through the love they give, expression is an absolute human trait. As is imagination. There's imagination, the verb, and the imagination, the noun. The action is to create something from nothing with the mind and bring about a new idea, concept, or image. The imagination itself is a part of the mind that is like a world of its own, both recreating past phenomena and creating new, completely novel atmospheres to inhabit. When i was imagining things to draw, i was immersing myself in the world of the subject of my art. When i would imagine moves for breakdancing, i would come up with things inspired by moves i had seen before, but synthesize them with my own adjustments and details to make something original. Even doing magic tricks which were based on instruction, i would imagine the reaction of my audience and their progression of disbelief, emotion and bewilderment as i went through the trick. This would lead me to act it out differently with each person, making a new form of expression each time and expressing the same thing multiple ways. The greatest inventions, the most emotionally captivating art, and the most life altering philosophies have all started in the imagination, and so does the alchemy of self.

You may wonder, can someone actually create something from nothing? isn't everything inspired or with its inspirations and to a certain degree derivative? i would say that they can, and that it isn't. This is the difference between alchemy - that is, operational alchemy - magic - not magic tricks, but true magic - and the alchemy of self. Functional alchemy is the art of turning lead to gold and the search for the Philosopher's Stone. it starts with base metals and aspires to transmute them into a purer, perfect metal with chemicals, lab processes and ultimately, a secret substance that is the goal of all alchemists.
Magic is different. it has no starting point, no preliminary materials, no set of directions, only the will and the mind. Imagine a magician making something appear into thin air. This is analogous to the process of using the will to enact change in physical reality. Where alchemy strives to change one object into another, magic attempts to change reality itself. The alchemy of self is more like magic, but is an alternate form of functional or operational alchemy. in this art, the practice of turning lead to gold is done by trying to transform the lead of the ego into the gold of consciousness, and the lead of the corporeal body into the gold of the spirit. Because these things are all part of and within the individual, it's a way to create and formulate something new uninspired by outside influences, from an internal point of creation. This internal dimension is the source of a new self, a new state of being created where there once was only a lack of peace, happiness, and hope. The alchemy of self is a creative one, and that creativity can be found in silence.

It was moonset again, and i was alone in mental silence. Not truly alone, i had myself for company. Mental silence had become one of my most cherished gifts and accomplishments in life. After years with racing thoughts, unable to quiet my mind, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, i never thought i would see my mind quiet. But here today, i had no thought at all from the end of dusk until well into the dawn. The silence was broken, but as usual by an idea for something creative. With no thought before it, who is to say that this was not the divine spark coming forth like the big bang from the primordial chaos and presenting itself? i've come to multiple song ideas, lyrics, and concepts for art from the serene place i find myself in after focusing on entering a meditative state. There was nothing in my mind, and i created something. Creating from a place of mental silence is another way to construct something uninspired by external sources. After finishing the art, the return to mental silence is an easy one, it has become part of my nature just like the alchemy of self. As sunrise began, i allowed my mind to enter the realm of thought.

My pondering took me to an edge, a vanishing point. Beyond it were the realizations that would lead me further within. it just meant going over the edge into unknown territory. What we do not know is like the event horizon of a black hole, visible from afar, but when you get close, all encompassing. The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing at all. There is only more to be found. i spoke earlier of my search for absolutes. This all started after finding the idea of duality, and shortly after hoping to break dichotomy and find truth in monism.
The yin and the yang explained as much as they embodied, but with these explanations and the embodiment of dark and light, i still found myself believing that there could be a path to light and only light. This was the edge. The vanishing point. The event horizon.

i also spoke earlier of creating a new self where there was only a lack of peace, happiness, and hope. Darkness is the absence of light. The alchemy of self is creating light where there is only the absence of light. This light spawns from the will to create it, and even when the dark of the self seems insurmountable, a new state of being can arise from a single revelation. Like when God spoke into the chaos and said let there be light, you think into existence the self you wish to be and from the lack of that self, it is created. You need to know what you don't have to know what you want. You need to know what you lack to know what you need. in my struggles with mental health issues and years of addiction, i was trying to fill a hole with substance abuse, but i didn't know what i was actually missing. it took finding the things that i wanted and needed and admitting that they weren't fulfilled to bring them into my life. The choice to not only look at the things that make you who you are, but all the things that do not make you who you want to be, is the beginning of the creation of that new self and state of being full of peace, happiness, and hope. The alchemy of self is a decisive one, and that decision is paramount to the person you will become.

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The alchemist in search of the Philosopher's Stone when practicing the alchemy of self is looking for a realization or catharsis that brings about a new state of being. The moment you turn lead to gold will be when the dark within turns to an all consuming light and the mind is free of attachment to ego. The realization you have or catharsis you feel will bring about this transformation. Like the stone itself and the process to create it, this is the highest achievement and will have a lasting effect on your consciousness as a whole. The magnum opus, the Great Work, or search for the Philosopher's Stone, is practiced by inner reflection and creative expression. Like i did, you may have many minor enlightenments and revelatory moments on the way to this final transmutation. The alchemy of self is a procession that will take many years and even continue after finding the stone of your inner workings.

The soul is constant yet ever changing. It is the essence of the self, the point of observation of the self and the universe, and the accumulation of our life here. When i first experienced the soul, it was an awakening moment. i knew it to be right under the shell of my body, and as real as that body itself. Some equate it with mind, some with energy. What i felt was my own being, the center of my existence and perception of the universe. This was always there, unseen. But in the wake of acknowledging it, i had one of many enlightenments that made up my Philosopher's Stone like the steps of a lab experiment. The awareness of that soul hasn't left since that first experience, and that is what it is to turn lead to gold in the alchemy of self. To create a lasting change in consciousness and the self, thus changing your entire reality.

Reality is malleable. This is evident in the way it changes by how we perceive things. When you're focused on time, it seems to go slower, but when your focus is on something else, time seems to go quickly. It's the same amount of time, but perceived two different ways. The question of color was always curious to me. Essentially, what if the red that you see and call red and the red that i see and call red are two different colors? What if you were to see what i see as blue instead of red, but had always seen it as such and called it red. There would be know way to tell what the color actually looked like, there would only be your knowledge. Reality doesn't only change by the way we perceive things, it changes with knowledge.

Knowledge has been my greatest pursuit since early in life. From studying as many world religions as possible, to magic and alchemy, the age of information and the effect of technology on humanity, dystopian literature, and astronomy and physics, i always seeked out information on the most elusive topics. The quest for knowledge is part of the alchemy of self. This is what i meant when i said that it would continue even after finding your own Philosopher's Stone. The search for knowledge can never end, when it dies, so do we.

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On this search for knowledge, there will be obstacles. The things you think you cannot do are the greatest hindrance on the journey and the greatest part to overcome. What we think is impossible has merely not been done yet, and there has been example after example of things in life you once thought were not possible that you ended up being able to do. The triumph of learning and understanding something new, gaining a new talent, and making it through a struggle are some of the most fulfilling barriers to break. What makes these things that were once impossible possible is the will. The will is the most powerful aspect of the human psyche. It can effect change in innumerable ways in the reality around you, and even more ways within yourself. The will is the main tool in the alchemy of self, and harnessing it is essential to your growth and development as an alchemist.

Another tool is reflection. Reflection is a key process in spiritual alchemy and has great value to those practicing the alchemy of self. Reflection on what is good in yourself, what is good in the universe, and what is good in life breeds good. Gratitude as well as acknowledgment and awareness lead to a more positive outlook on the self, the world, and existence. Reflecting on the present moment and your state of being is a way to maintain a meditative state of consciousness and bring about more peace within the self. Reflection leads to knowledge of the inner workings, and the knowledge of the microcosm leads to knowledge of the macrocosm. Practicing reflection is a useful way to learn more about yourself, and this is the ultimate goal of the alchemy of self.

When the alchemy of self is mastered, one will know how to turn negatives into positives the way an alchemist with the Philosopher's Stone turns lead to gold. The stone of the alchemy of self is realization. When reflecting on a negative experience, purpose can be found in it by learning something from it. Finding a lesson in the darkness of life gives a reason for it. It grants a different perspective on the situation, and with the knowledge learned, the negative has now become a positive. Some outlooks to have are: that made me what i am today; i wouldn't know what i know now if that hadn't happened; i won't make the same mistake again now. All of these ways of seeing things are ways to see a negative as a positive. While knowing yourself is the ultimate goal of the alchemy of self, turning negatives into positives is the outcome and reward.

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Alchemy is the point between religion and science. Religion and science have been at odds since the inception of the sciences and create a dichotomy most see as having them as polar opposites. Alchemy creates a middle point between the two and draws from both to create its ideology. Alchemy was the precursor to chemistry, and many of the lab processes we use today in chemistry were first used in alchemy. Many scientists also practiced alchemy, the most notable being Nikolas Tesla, who translated the most well known alchemical text, the Emerald Tablet, and had a book of writings on alchemy and the occult. Where it was the precursor to science, alchemy was the successor to religion. It drew on religious ideas like the concept of God and the creation of the universe, and expanded on them by relating them to the alchemical process of turning lead to gold. The seven heavenly metals, named with heaven in the title, as well as the seven steps of the Great Work, are a reflection of the seven days of creation in the Christian creation myth, the seven archangels, and seven being the number of God in numerology, it reflected that spiritual framework as well. Christ is even believed by some to have been the Philosopher's Stone, or anteriorly that the stone is a metaphor for Christ. Many alchemists were Christians, and the roots of Alchemy are delved deeply in Christian mysticism.

Mysticism has long been associated with the practice of magic, but alchemy has been influenced by it just as much. Mysticism is the alternative view and practice of religion and spirituality that is based around ceremony, ritual, and the esoteric to alter consciousness and achieve union with the divine. It is also the belief that one can know spiritual truth, divine knowledge, and ultimate reality through experiences like visions, intuitions, and channeling. In Christianity, it is often associated with direct contact with God or angels. Spiritual alchemy pulls from these concepts in the practice and process of turning the lead of the unawakened mind into the gold of the enlightened mind, and the alchemy of self expands on it by striving to alter the mind, turning the lead of ego into the gold of consciousness.

One who practices the alchemy of self may consider themself both an alchemist and a mystic.

it was nearly the last moonset of the month, and it had been a productive one. The connections made with the God within have been plenty. The recognition of self as God has been constant. The reflection on God has led back within every time. i know i am growing more, and what i once thought i could be is but a spark compared to the nova of self that is being created in front of me.

Knowledge of self as God is one of the main goals to achieve in the alchemy of self. The idea that humans are divine is as old as religion and spirituality itself, usually attained through a form of ascension into something greater. Apotheosis is when a human becomes a god in a story or mythology. The apotheosis seeked after in the alchemy of self is one of self-realization and cognitive catharsis. Having the revelation that you are God is not out of blasphemy or to create a greater ego, but to seperate the ego from the seperation and delineation you draw between yourself and the divine. Christ is thought to be both a human and God, and was an example of what humanity can achieve through spiritual practice. The Buddha is thought to be divine, having transcended the ego, and finding nirvana, breaking the karmic cycle. He was also an example of what we can become by focusing our whole will on attaining universal knowledge and knowledge of self. The alchemy of self aims to make one aware of their similarities to figures like Christ and the Buddha, and find within themself the divinity they see in them.

Earlier i spoke about Christ and the Philosopher's Stone. When looking at what the stone does, it's not hard to see why some have thought that it might be a metaphor for Christ or that Jesus might have been the stone itself. The Philosopher's Stone is said to transmute base metals into silver or gold, heal all diseases, and grant it's user hundreds of years added to their lifespan. With Christ turning water to wine, like transmuting lead to gold, healing the sick and the blind, like the stone cures all illnesses, and granting eternal life, like those who took the stone were thought to become immortal, the parallels are obvious and it makes sense why to some alchemists the two became synonymous.

The alchemy of self is centered around trying to see yourself as the Philosopher's Stone. With the power to turn the lead of negative experiences into the gold of positive lessons, the ability to heal the sickness of the mind and its hindrances, and to create a self that goes from the ever-changing, fluctuative state of development into the immortal, eternal, everlasting state of true selfhood, you have become the stone itself.

To have a self you truly love is all the art aspires to.

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i can truly say i love myself today. There was a time when i couldn't say the same. Through years of drug addiction and mental health issues, i had no sense of agency over my fate or situation. it took looking within and seeing that i had to be my own savior to make it out of the depths i had fallen to. My use of drugs was to mask self hate and the thoughts and feelings i felt i couldn't handle. it took the conscious practice of self love and positive self talk to break out of the root of my addiction and overcome my struggles with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and OCD. i also went to rehab and stopped using, and started therapy, which gave me a new perspective on my own ability to change my fate and create a new, better situation. Everyone's path is different. You may not find yourself in treatment or in therapy, but the catalyst to self love is a conscious choice to make a change in your life and do something differently to bring about the appreciation and love you deserve to give yourself. The alchemy of self nurtures this choice.

The thing that motivated me most to love myself was family. The relationship i have today with my Mom, my sister, and my Grandma are better than they have ever been and it's all thanks to the desire to change. You can't truly love someone else until you love yourself. i didn't used to have a good relationship with my Mom, me and my sister weren't close, and i didn't share all the things i share today with my Grandma. Their love for me was always there, but i couldn't accept it because i hadn't even come to accept it from myself. i wasn't present in our relationships and i separated myself because i couldn't express the way i felt. The change that made us close was choosing to accept their love, even if i hadn't learned to love myself yet. Through encouragement after encouragement, affirmation after affirmation, and all the support and care they gave me, i thought, if they love me and think that i'm worthy of love, then maybe i can do the same. Even if i didn't believe it, i encouraged myself the way my Mom encouraged me, i reaffirmed myself the way my sister reaffirmed me, and i supported myself and cared for myself the way my Grandma does. They taught me what it means to love, and i couldn't ever be more grateful for how close we are today. Family is the most important focus of the alchemy of self, creating your concept of it and bringing change in your life to make the ones closest to you an integral part of your framework and existence.

The time we spend aware of the love in our lives is the time we truly live.

Two more moonsets left in this month, the art is coming to its culmination. i feel the void within me. What is to come of me after this transformation, i'm not sure, but i know it will be good. And it will be good until the end of my days.

Belief that things will be good is essential to the alchemy of self. Speaking into existence the outcome you wish to see is the art of manifestation. Manifestation is both cognitive and will based. The more you wish to believe that things will be good, the more you will start to believe it. if you simply believe things will not get better, they may, or they may get worse, but that would be the universe's doing, not your own. When you think things will not be good, and then they aren't good, the responsibility is put more on you and less on fate. When you think things will be good and then they are, it's usually because your actions have been guided by a positive outlook, and positivity breeds positivity. in the same way, the responsibility is put more on you than on fate, and you may come to the realization that your ability goes beyond that of even the fate you thought destined you to things not being good before.

Good comes to the alchemist who believes.

Moonset ended and the sun came up. My mind was on love, family, choice, change, and good.

Where once there was only darkness, light has formed.

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The alchemy of self is a dedicated one. To become an alchemist, a mystic, and to love self are no simple task. They are a great undertaking that should be expected to take years, and even after completion, have effects that last the rest of your lifetime.

We've spoken of truth, the imagination, and mental silence. How to find it, how to harness it, and how to achieve it.

We've spoken of the difference between alchemy, magic, and the alchemy of self. We've spoken of the tie between alchemy, religion, and science. We've spoken of the main ideas and goals of alchemy. We've set a framework for you as an alchemist.

We've spoken of the soul, reality, and knowledge. How to become aware of it, how to understand it, and how to achieve it.

We've spoken of the Philosopher's Stone. We've spoken of the stone of alchemy, the comparisons and relation to Christ, and the stone of the alchemy of self. What it does, why it is thought of the way it is, and how it is different and aims to turn the lead of the ego into the gold of the self.

We've spoken of the will and reflection. Two of the main tools of the alchemy of self. How to channel it, and how to practice it.

We've spoken of mysticism and the idea of the self as God. Of its definition, and of the meaning and purpose of seeing one's self as divine.

And we've spoken of family and self love. The main focus of the alchemy of self, and its greatest reward. All of these things make up the alchemy of self as an art and a practice, and understanding them makes you both an alchemist and a mystic. The journey of creating a new self starts with you, look within.

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It was the last moonset of the month. There was no more work to be done. i could say it now. i was a mystic. i was an alchemist.

With an art created all my own, i had done what no other alchemist could do and built a new ideology of alchemy. The self was the focus, and the spirit was the outcome.

To turn lead to gold, to turn the ego into consciousness.

To turn negatives into positives.

To heal yourself of all sicknesses of negativity and bring positivity into your life.

To become the everpresent self that will last until your last day on Earth.

This was what i strived for by moonset, and what i hope i have taught you.

Now by sunset, i start the search for a new art to create.