The Alchemy of Self. by Ash Jetson

 

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Scroll down to read Alchemical Gold: The Search for the Prima Materia and Stigmata of the Wanderer. by Ash

 

1

The alchemy of self is a personal one, and the highest art to achieve. i practiced it the point between night and day, at moonset. Right before dawn with my realizations, the early morning was my ascent. To the realms unknown, or to places so familiar they feel like places within myself. The familiar places teaching what can be taught many ways, and the unknown places teaching what can only be taught by the self. The art was part of my nature, and i grew to know it as a truth.

The alchemy of self was awakening. It took me to different matrices of reality, dimensions within dimensions from the macrocosm to the microcosm. And still, it always brought me back within. Perception was a great question to me from a young age, how yours could be different than mine. In the search for absolutes, i found that the individual's perception is one's own truth, and that is true for every person.
The answer lie not in the many differences, but in the one similarity. The art was unifying, and it made one thing all and all things one.

i'm reminded of the idea of liberation in Buddhism. Moksha is the freedom from negative experience and the hindrances to pure consciousness, and it's the feeling experienced at the point of nirvana or enlightenment. i don't claim to be enlightened, but i have felt liberation from the darkness of existence and the obstacles to thought and happiness. i haven't reached the one major catharsis that the Buddha reached under that tree, but i have had many minor enlightenments and revelatory moments that have brought me further along my spiritual path and to a state of being i once could not have imagined. The art is a transformative one, and it all starts with the imagination.

i've written music for half my life now, and its been one of my greatest tools in the alchemy of self. Writing lyrics that put into words the heights and depths of my experience here, that challenge the limits of words and rhyme, that give life to emotion, and that inspire and give encouragement to people who have gone through the same things i have, has been a true testament to what creation can do. Even before making music, i was expressing myself in different ways. Drawing from early on, breakdancing, doing magic tricks. Expression was always a part of my life and has formed me into the alchemist i am today. Most don't realize, but even those who aren't creative express themselves daily. Through the words they speak, through the time they share, through the love they give, expression is an absolute human trait. As is imagination. There's imagination, the verb, and the imagination, the noun. The action is to create something from nothing with the mind and bring about a new idea, concept, or image. The imagination itself is a part of the mind that is like a world of its own, both recreating past phenomena and creating new, completely novel atmospheres to inhabit. When i was imagining things to draw, i was immersing myself in the world of the subject of my art. When i would imagine moves for breakdancing, i would come up with things inspired by moves i had seen before, but synthesize them with my own adjustments and details to make something original. Even doing magic tricks which were based on instruction, i would imagine the reaction of my audience and their progression of disbelief, emotion and bewilderment as i went through the trick. This would lead me to act it out differently with each person, making a new form of expression each time and expressing the same thing multiple ways. The greatest inventions, the most emotionally captivating art, and the most life altering philosophies have all started in the imagination, and so does the alchemy of self.

You may wonder, can someone actually create something from nothing? isn't everything inspired or with its inspirations and to a certain degree derivative? i would say that they can, and that it isn't. This is the difference between alchemy - that is, operational alchemy - magic - not magic tricks, but true magic - and the alchemy of self. Functional alchemy is the art of turning lead to gold and the search for the Philosopher's Stone. it starts with base metals and aspires to transmute them into a purer, perfect metal with chemicals, lab processes and ultimately, a secret substance that is the goal of all alchemists.
Magic is different. it has no starting point, no preliminary materials, no set of directions, only the will and the mind. Imagine a magician making something appear into thin air. This is analogous to the process of using the will to enact change in physical reality. Where alchemy strives to change one object into another, magic attempts to change reality itself. The alchemy of self is more like magic, but is an alternate form of functional or operational alchemy. in this art, the practice of turning lead to gold is done by trying to transform the lead of the ego into the gold of consciousness, and the lead of the corporeal body into the gold of the spirit. Because these things are all part of and within the individual, it's a way to create and formulate something new uninspired by outside influences, from an internal point of creation. This internal dimension is the source of a new self, a new state of being created where there once was only a lack of peace, happiness, and hope. The alchemy of self is a creative one, and that creativity can be found in silence.

It was moonset again, and i was alone in mental silence. Not truly alone, i had myself for company. Mental silence had become one of my most cherished gifts and accomplishments in life. After years with racing thoughts, unable to quiet my mind, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, i never thought i would see my mind quiet. But here today, i had no thought at all from the end of dusk until well into the dawn. The silence was broken, but as usual by an idea for something creative. With no thought before it, who is to say that this was not the divine spark coming forth like the big bang from the primordial chaos and presenting itself? i've come to multiple song ideas, lyrics, and concepts for art from the serene place i find myself in after focusing on entering a meditative state. There was nothing in my mind, and i created something. Creating from a place of mental silence is another way to construct something uninspired by external sources. After finishing the art, the return to mental silence is an easy one, it has become part of my nature just like the alchemy of self. As sunrise began, i allowed my mind to enter the realm of thought.

My pondering took me to an edge, a vanishing point. Beyond it were the realizations that would lead me further within. it just meant going over the edge into unknown territory. What we do not know is like the event horizon of a black hole, visible from afar, but when you get close, all encompassing. The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing at all. There is only more to be found. i spoke earlier of my search for absolutes. This all started after finding the idea of duality, and shortly after hoping to break dichotomy and find truth in monism.
The yin and the yang explained as much as they embodied, but with these explanations and the embodiment of dark and light, i still found myself believing that there could be a path to light and only light. This was the edge. The vanishing point. The event horizon.

i also spoke earlier of creating a new self where there was only a lack of peace, happiness, and hope. Darkness is the absence of light. The alchemy of self is creating light where there is only the absence of light. This light spawns from the will to create it, and even when the dark of the self seems insurmountable, a new state of being can arise from a single revelation. Like when God spoke into the chaos and said let there be light, you think into existence the self you wish to be and from the lack of that self, it is created. You need to know what you don't have to know what you want. You need to know what you lack to know what you need. in my struggles with mental health issues and years of addiction, i was trying to fill a hole with substance abuse, but i didn't know what i was actually missing. it took finding the things that i wanted and needed and admitting that they weren't fulfilled to bring them into my life. The choice to not only look at the things that make you who you are, but all the things that do not make you who you want to be, is the beginning of the creation of that new self and state of being full of peace, happiness, and hope. The alchemy of self is a decisive one, and that decision is paramount to the person you will become.

2

The alchemist in search of the Philosopher's Stone when practicing the alchemy of self is looking for a realization or catharsis that brings about a new state of being. The moment you turn lead to gold will be when the dark within turns to an all consuming light and the mind is free of attachment to ego. The realization you have or catharsis you feel will bring about this transformation. Like the stone itself and the process to create it, this is the highest achievement and will have a lasting effect on your consciousness as a whole. The magnum opus, the Great Work, or search for the Philosopher's Stone, is practiced by inner reflection and creative expression. Like i did, you may have many minor enlightenments and revelatory moments on the way to this final transmutation. The alchemy of self is a procession that will take many years and even continue after finding the stone of your inner workings.

The soul is constant yet ever changing. It is the essence of the self, the point of observation of the self and the universe, and the accumulation of our life here. When i first experienced the soul, it was an awakening moment. i knew it to be right under the shell of my body, and as real as that body itself. Some equate it with mind, some with energy. What i felt was my own being, the center of my existence and perception of the universe. This was always there, unseen. But in the wake of acknowledging it, i had one of many enlightenments that made up my Philosopher's Stone like the steps of a lab experiment. The awareness of that soul hasn't left since that first experience, and that is what it is to turn lead to gold in the alchemy of self. To create a lasting change in consciousness and the self, thus changing your entire reality.

Reality is malleable. This is evident in the way it changes by how we perceive things. When you're focused on time, it seems to go slower, but when your focus is on something else, time seems to go quickly. It's the same amount of time, but perceived two different ways. The question of color was always curious to me. Essentially, what if the red that you see and call red and the red that i see and call red are two different colors? What if you were to see what i see as blue instead of red, but had always seen it as such and called it red. There would be no way to tell what the color actually looked like, there would only be your knowledge. Reality doesn't only change by the way we perceive things, it changes with knowledge.

Knowledge has been my greatest pursuit since early in life. From studying as many world religions as possible, to magic and alchemy, the age of information and the effect of technology on humanity, dystopian literature, and astronomy and physics, i always seeked out information on the most elusive topics. The quest for knowledge is part of the alchemy of self. This is what i meant when i said that it would continue even after finding your own Philosopher's Stone. The search for knowledge can never end, when it dies, so do we.

3

On this search for knowledge, there will be obstacles. The things you think you cannot do are the greatest hindrance on the journey and the greatest part to overcome. What we think is impossible has merely not been done yet, and there has been example after example of things in life you once thought were not possible that you ended up being able to do. The triumph of learning and understanding something new, gaining a new talent, and making it through a struggle are some of the most fulfilling barriers to break. What makes these things that were once impossible possible is the will. The will is the most powerful aspect of the human psyche. It can effect change in innumerable ways in the reality around you, and even more ways within yourself. The will is the main tool in the alchemy of self, and harnessing it is essential to your growth and development as an alchemist.

Another tool is reflection. Reflection is a key process in spiritual alchemy and has great value to those practicing the alchemy of self. Reflection on what is good in yourself, what is good in the universe, and what is good in life breeds good. Gratitude as well as acknowledgment and awareness lead to a more positive outlook on the self, the world, and existence. Reflecting on the present moment and your state of being is a way to maintain a meditative state of consciousness and bring about more peace within the self. Reflection leads to knowledge of the inner workings, and the knowledge of the microcosm leads to knowledge of the macrocosm. Practicing reflection is a useful way to learn more about yourself, and this is the ultimate goal of the alchemy of self.

When the alchemy of self is mastered, one will know how to turn negatives into positives the way an alchemist with the Philosopher's Stone turns lead to gold. The stone of the alchemy of self is realization. When reflecting on a negative experience, purpose can be found in it by learning something from it. Finding a lesson in the darkness of life gives a reason for it. It grants a different perspective on the situation, and with the knowledge learned, the negative has now become a positive. Some outlooks to have are: that made me what i am today; i wouldn't know what i know now if that hadn't happened; i won't make the same mistake again now. All of these ways of seeing things are ways to see a negative as a positive. While knowing yourself is the ultimate goal of the alchemy of self, turning negatives into positives is the outcome and reward.

4

Alchemy is the point between religion and science. Religion and science have been at odds since the inception of the sciences and create a dichotomy most see as having them as polar opposites. Alchemy creates a middle point between the two and draws from both to create its ideology. Alchemy was the precursor to chemistry, and many of the lab processes we use today in chemistry were first used in alchemy. Many scientists also practiced alchemy, the most notable being Nikolas Tesla, who translated the most well known alchemical text, the Emerald Tablet, and had a book of writings on alchemy and the occult. Where it was the precursor to science, alchemy was the successor to religion. It drew on religious ideas like the concept of God and the creation of the universe, and expanded on them by relating them to the alchemical process of turning lead to gold. The seven heavenly metals, named with heaven in the title, as well as the seven steps of the Great Work, are a reflection of the seven days of creation in the Christian creation myth, the seven archangels, and seven being the number of God in numerology, it reflected that spiritual framework as well. Christ is even believed by some to have been the Philosopher's Stone, or anteriorly that the stone is a metaphor for Christ. Many alchemists were Christians, and the roots of Alchemy are delved deeply in Christian mysticism.

Mysticism has long been associated with the practice of magic, but alchemy has been influenced by it just as much. Mysticism is the alternative view and practice of religion and spirituality that is based around ceremony, ritual, and the esoteric to alter consciousness and achieve union with the divine. It is also the belief that one can know spiritual truth, divine knowledge, and ultimate reality through experiences like visions, intuitions, and channeling. In Christianity, it is often associated with direct contact with God or angels. Spiritual alchemy pulls from these concepts in the practice and process of turning the lead of the unawakened mind into the gold of the enlightened mind, and the alchemy of self expands on it by striving to alter the mind, turning the lead of ego into the gold of consciousness.

One who practices the alchemy of self may consider themself both an alchemist and a mystic.

it was nearly the last moonset of the month, and it had been a productive one. The connections made with the God within have been plenty. The recognition of self as God has been constant. The reflection on God has led back within every time. i know i am growing more, and what i once thought i could be is but a spark compared to the nova of self that is being created in front of me.

Knowledge of self as God is one of the main goals to achieve in the alchemy of self. The idea that humans are divine is as old as religion and spirituality itself, usually attained through a form of ascension into something greater. Apotheosis is when a human becomes a god in a story or mythology. The apotheosis seeked after in the alchemy of self is one of self-realization and cognitive catharsis. Having the revelation that you are God is not out of blasphemy or to create a greater ego, but to seperate the ego from the seperation and delineation you draw between yourself and the divine. Christ is thought to be both a human and God, and was an example of what humanity can achieve through spiritual practice. The Buddha is thought to be divine, having transcended the ego, and finding nirvana, breaking the karmic cycle. He was also an example of what we can become by focusing our whole will on attaining universal knowledge and knowledge of self. The alchemy of self aims to make one aware of their similarities to figures like Christ and the Buddha, and find within themself the divinity they see in them.

Earlier i spoke about Christ and the Philosopher's Stone. When looking at what the stone does, it's not hard to see why some have thought that it might be a metaphor for Christ or that Jesus might have been the stone itself. The Philosopher's Stone is said to transmute base metals into silver or gold, heal all diseases, and grant it's user hundreds of years added to their lifespan. With Christ turning water to wine, like transmuting lead to gold, healing the sick and the blind, like the stone cures all illnesses, and granting eternal life, like those who took the stone were thought to become immortal, the parallels are obvious and it makes sense why to some alchemists the two became synonymous.

The alchemy of self is centered around trying to see yourself as the Philosopher's Stone. With the power to turn the lead of negative experiences into the gold of positive lessons, the ability to heal the sickness of the mind and its hindrances, and to create a self that goes from the ever-changing, fluctuative state of development into the immortal, eternal, everlasting state of true selfhood, you have become the stone itself.

To have a self you truly love is all the art aspires to.

5

i can truly say i love myself today. There was a time when i couldn't say the same. Through years of drug addiction and mental health issues, i had no sense of agency over my fate or situation. it took looking within and seeing that i had to be my own savior to make it out of the depths i had fallen to. My use of drugs was to mask self hate and the thoughts and feelings i felt i couldn't handle. it took the conscious practice of self love and positive self talk to break out of the root of my addiction and overcome my struggles with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and OCD. i also went to rehab and stopped using, and started therapy, which gave me a new perspective on my own ability to change my fate and create a new, better situation. Everyone's path is different. You may not find yourself in treatment or in therapy, but the catalyst to self love is a conscious choice to make a change in your life and do something differently to bring about the appreciation and love you deserve to give yourself. The alchemy of self nurtures this choice.

The thing that motivated me most to love myself was family. The relationship i have today with my Mom, my sister, and my Grandma are better than they have ever been and it's all thanks to the desire to change. You can't truly love someone else until you love yourself. i didn't used to have a good relationship with my Mom, me and my sister weren't close, and i didn't share all the things i share today with my Grandma. Their love for me was always there, but i couldn't accept it because i hadn't even come to accept it from myself. i wasn't present in our relationships and i separated myself because i couldn't express the way i felt. The change that made us close was choosing to accept their love, even if i hadn't learned to love myself yet. Through encouragement after encouragement, affirmation after affirmation, and all the support and care they gave me, i thought, if they love me and think that i'm worthy of love, then maybe i can do the same. Even if i didn't believe it, i encouraged myself the way my Mom encouraged me, i reaffirmed myself the way my sister reaffirmed me, and i supported myself and cared for myself the way my Grandma does. They taught me what it means to love, and i couldn't ever be more grateful for how close we are today. Family is the most important focus of the alchemy of self, creating your concept of it and bringing change in your life to make the ones closest to you an integral part of your framework and existence.

The time we spend aware of the love in our lives is the time we truly live.

Two more moonsets left in this month, the art is coming to its culmination. i feel the void within me. What is to come of me after this transformation, i'm not sure, but i know it will be good. And it will be good until the end of my days.

Belief that things will be good is essential to the alchemy of self. Speaking into existence the outcome you wish to see is the art of manifestation. Manifestation is both cognitive and will based. The more you wish to believe that things will be good, the more you will start to believe it. if you simply believe things will not get better, they may, or they may get worse, but that would be the universe's doing, not your own. When you think things will not be good, and then they aren't good, the responsibility is put more on you and less on fate. When you think things will be good and then they are, it's usually because your actions have been guided by a positive outlook, and positivity breeds positivity. in the same way, the responsibility is put more on you than on fate, and you may come to the realization that your ability goes beyond that of even the fate you thought destined you to things not being good before.

Good comes to the alchemist who believes.

Moonset ended and the sun came up. My mind was on love, family, choice, change, and good.

Where once there was only darkness, light has formed.

6

The alchemy of self is a dedicated one. To become an alchemist, a mystic, and to love self are no simple task. They are a great undertaking that should be expected to take years, and even after completion, have effects that last the rest of your lifetime.

We've spoken of truth, the imagination, and mental silence. How to find it, how to harness it, and how to achieve it.

We've spoken of the difference between alchemy, magic, and the alchemy of self. We've spoken of the tie between alchemy, religion, and science. We've spoken of the main ideas and goals of alchemy. We've set a framework for you as an alchemist.

We've spoken of the soul, reality, and knowledge. How to become aware of it, how to understand it, and how to achieve it.

We've spoken of the Philosopher's Stone. We've spoken of the stone of alchemy, the comparisons and relation to Christ, and the stone of the alchemy of self. What it does, why it is thought of the way it is, and how it is different and aims to turn the lead of the ego into the gold of the self.

We've spoken of the will and reflection. Two of the main tools of the alchemy of self. How to channel it, and how to practice it.

We've spoken of mysticism and the idea of the self as God. Of its definition, and of the meaning and purpose of seeing one's self as divine.

And we've spoken of family and self love. The main focus of the alchemy of self, and its greatest reward. All of these things make up the alchemy of self as an art and a practice, and understanding them makes you both an alchemist and a mystic. The journey of creating a new self starts with you, look within.

7

It was the last moonset of the month. There was no more work to be done. i could say it now. i was a mystic. i was an alchemist.

With an art created all my own, i had done what no other alchemist could do and built a new ideology of alchemy. The self was the focus, and the spirit was the outcome.

To turn lead to gold, to turn the ego into consciousness.

To turn negatives into positives.

To heal yourself of all sicknesses of negativity and bring positivity into your life.

To become the everpresent self that will last until your last day on Earth.

This was what i strived for by moonset, and what i hope i have taught you.

Now by sunset, i start the search for a new art to create.

 

Alchemical Gold: The Search for the Prima Materia

The gold you search for is not far beneath.

The Prima Materia

There is something that is there, but is not there. That is everything and nothing. What resides in and makes up all matter in the universe. A formless, primordial substance that has eluded alchemists since time immemorial. An idea created by Aristotle, and finding it is now known to be the first step in the search for the coveted Philosopher's Stone. Some call it aether, some the alkahest, some the divine spark. Some refer to it as dark matter or chaos itself. Some say it is what holds the universe together. Whatever it may be called, it is thought to be the building block of everything in existence, and because of this, it was given the name Prima Materia, or the first matter.

It was there before time and space, before God said, "Let there be light." Known as the microcosm, it is the quintessence of material reality, or the macrocosm. It is the formlessness that became order during the act of creation, whether that was the Big Bang or divine intervention.

The same way that the Prima Materia is all matter and makes up the universe in classical alchemy, in spiritual alchemy, the Prima Materia is everything that happens to us, that we sense, and that we perceive; it is everything that makes up our life. To Carl Jung, the Prima Materia was everyday situations, external and internal stimuli, the unconscious mind, and the thoughts that constituted living as a human. With this outlook, we can see how the Prima Materia in spiritual alchemy is still the starting point for achieving the Philosopher's Stone, which is spiritually an achieved state of enlightenment gained through self-reflection, self-realization, and thus inner transformation. These things that Jung and other spiritual alchemists defined as the Prima Materia are what we will reflect on and internalize on our path to achieve this higher state of being.

Finding the Prima Materia is one of the most longed after pursuits of alchemists, and it is said that "...<span;>philosophers have so greatly admired the Creature of God which is called the Primal Matter, especially concerning its efficacy and mystery, that they have given it many names, and almost every possible description, for they have not known how to sufficiently praise it." There are over 50 names for the Prima Materia, and a few of them that sum up it's mysterious quality and renowned status are Microcosmos, Water of Life, Spirit, Heaven, The Serpent, Soul, and The Matter of All Forms.

It's symbol is a male serpent with the Sun and a female serpent with the Moon, encompassing the masculine and feminine principle of reality and the duality of the cosmos like many other alchemical symbols. The Serpent is a symbol of both knowledge and transformation, in Christian Alchemy and Gnostic Alchemy being Lucifer in the Garden of Eden who either gave gnosis to Adam and Eve or caused them to fall, and in classical alchemy being the one that sheds it's skin and becomes itself anew. The Sun symbolizes both God and Gold, or the highest form of creation. The Moon symbolizes Silver and the Subconscious, the basis of our perceptual experience, and the 2nd highest metal next to gold, showing that the subconscious is thought of as an extension of God, and shadow of the divine or a lesser form of the creative force of reality. This symbolically represents the relationship between the Prima Materia, or the microcosm, and the universe, the macrocosm, by showing their intertwined nature and their dependence on each other for existence and purpose.

"As the seed contains the potential for the whole plant, so the Prima Materia contains the potential for All Things." The Prima Materia is not reality itself, though it makes up reality, but the infinite potentiality for reality to continue to exist and expand. The point before the Big Bang is thought of as a state of potentiality, as is the Prima Materia. Both infinitesimal and all-encompassing, it was a minute point that became the universe as we know it today. As a seed germinates, it grows from a speck into what can be a redwood that towers into the heavens. The Prima Materia works in the same way. It is the most minor part that is the most essential factor of the whole and it is the least that can become the most. Potential energy becoming kinetic, a seed becoming a flower, the Prima Materia becoming everything we know.

As stated earlier, the Prima Materia has been equated with aether, which is the fifth element beyond earth, air, fire, and water in ancient ideology. The word aether literally translates to spirit. It was said to be the material that fills space beyond earth's sphere. In this way, it is similar to the scientific theory of dark matter. Aether had a more religious or spiritual connotation though, with it being thought of as the substance our soul or spirit was made of, and the realm where we traveled to Earth from before physical life. It was even thought to hold the planets in place, and the concept of aether helped Aristotle come to the conclusion that the heavenly bodies in our solar system move in circles. It was also used in theories having to do with gravity and the movement of light until the 19th century. This fifth element, along with the other four that make up natural existence, is what ties the physical and the scientific to the spiritual.

These are all ideas that sum up the meaning of the Prima Materia, but what i aim to present in this novel is what it's meaning can be for you on your spiritual journey. With a concept as lofty as the soul or the fabric of reality, it shouldn't be difficult to see the weight that this concept has in both alchemy and spirituality. But the most important part of the idea is that it is the first step to finding the Philosopher's Stone, or achieving the Magnum Opus. The goal of the Magnum Opus, or the Great Work, is the death of the ego and the birth of a newfound, enlightened mindstate, and this is the effort of many spiritualists of countless schools and doctrines. With the Prima Materia being the starting point, looking at the soul, the unconscious mind, our life, and the universe itself as our tools of reflection will lead us to the enlightenment we seek and the divinity awaiting every alchemist on their path to find the God within.

Egyptian Alchemy

The oldest form of alchemy and the beginning of our journey is Egyptian Alchemy. Egyptian Alchemy was a metaphysical science that merged religion, art, and science together to create the belief in turning lead into gold and mortality into immortality. The word alchemy comes from the Arabic word Alkem, which means "mysterious art of the Kemites." Kemet, meaning black land, was a land in Egypt, and is the birthplace of alchemy.

The beliefs of Egyptian alchemists were in divine order, controlled by the cosmos and their pantheon of Gods, who gave them power over nature and reality through magic and alchemy. The most prominent God of the Egyptians in alchemy is Thoth, the God of writing, hieroglyphics, and magic. He was thought to have given the knowledge of Alchemy in a tablet made of emerald, known as the Emerald Tablet of Thoth the Atlantean. This was later prophetically repeated by Hermes Trismegistus in his Emerald Tablet, and because of this led to him being equated with and thought of as an analog or reincarnation of Thoth. Thoth was also God of the Moon, and he was depicted with the head of an ibis which symbolized the crescent moon. Today, the moon is still associated with magic and alchemy and it is in part due to this figure. The alchemy that was supposedly handed down to the Egyptians taught them wine making, the dyeing of cloth, and metallurgy, which lead to the ultimate desire to turn lead into gold.

Alchemy was brought to Europe by the Greeks after they studied in Egypt after the Greek conquest. It lasted as a respected metaphysical discipline until the 18th century with the introduction of chemistry. But much of chemistry is owed to the labwork of alchemy, and alchemy would have never reached the heights of the creation of Hermeticism and the writings of authors like Paracelsus and Nicholas Flamel without Egyptian Alchemy.

Hermes Trismegistus

The topic of Egyptian Alchemy brought us to Hermes Trismegistus, who actually lived in the Hellenistic Period and is thought to have been not only the reincarnation of Thoth, but an emanation of the Greek God Hermes and Enoch of the Bible. He is even found in Muslim religion, where he is equated with the prophet Idris. He is the attributed writer of the Corpus Hermeticum, a wide ranging collection of philosophical and magical writings on the nature of humanity and God, the afterlife, ceremonial magic, the movement of the stars and planets, and most importantly, alchemy. This diverse selection of texts has come together with other schools of philosophy to create Hermeticism, named after Hermes Trismegistus himself.

His name means "Hermes Thrice Great." Thrice Great, or great three times, because he was the greatest priest, philosopher, and king. Also because he was learned in the 3 great arts, astronomy, alchemy, and magic. Christian alchemists, philosophers, and writers <span;>considered Hermes Trismegistus to be a pagan prophet who predicted the creation of Christianity. They believed in a prisca theologia, or an ancient theoology, that is, a singular, true theology that spreads through all religions. It is said to have been given to man by God and passed through a series of prophets, including Plato, Zoroaster, and ultimately Jesus. In this school of thought, Hermes Trismegistus was either a predecessor to Moses, or the third man in a lineage named Hermes after Enoch and Noah.

The most interesting of these ascriptions is to Enoch, who in the Bible lives for 365 years before being taken up into the presence of God. The biblical texts state that he "walked with God." His belief was so strong that it is quoted as saying, "faith had translated Enoch so that he should not see death." He lived before the events of the Flood and is thought to be the 7th ancestor of Jesus after Adam. He is attributed with writing the Book of Enoch, a gospel that was removed from the Bible at the Council of Nicea in 325 AD for its mysterious nature and inconsistency with the notions of the New Testament. This apocryphal text is still used in certain sects of Christianity, and is widely studied amongst spiritualists and conspiracy theorists alike for its description of angels as physical beings. This prophet and the lore behind him make for one of the most compelling comparisons to Hermes Trismegistus.

The third and final meaning of "Thrice Great" is the 3 lives of Hermes Trismegistus. We've already spoken of Thoth and how Hermes was thought to be the reincarnation of Thoth. But after Hermes Trismegistus' death, his third incarnation was that of Balinas, or Apollonius of Tyana. A Greek philosopher who lived in the first century and became a religious leader after spending his life traveling and teaching. Balinas claimed that in his travels, he found a cave where inside sat the skeleton of an old man holding an Emerald Tablet in one hand. He believed this to be the remains of Hermes Trismegistus himself. How he was lead to this finding and the information he received from the tablet lead him to believe that he had been guided back to his past incarnation's tomb. He was thought by many to be Hermes Trismegistus' final manifestation and the third that made him Hermes Thrice Great.

The Corpus Hermeticum, arguably the most notable text attributed to Hermes Trismegistus other than the Emerald Tablet, is a unique thesis on the nature of the human soul, the relationship between man and God, the value of knowledge, and the innate good of creation and its Creator.
<span;>In this short piece, Hermes comes out of a state of deep meditation, prayer, or reflection, dependent on the translation, and is overcome by the vision of a ball of fire floating down from the sky. He is approached by the flame, and when it comes to him, he is driven to speak to it. The flame speaks back, and says that it's name is Pymander, and that it is the mind of God. This is where the subtitle of the text comes from, the full title being The Corpus Hermeticum: The Divine Pymander.
<span;>He goes on to ask the mind of God itself every question he has about nature, the laws of the universe, morals, the afterlife, and the God it emanated from. After the conversation, Pymander reascends to Heaven, and Hermes goes on to tell his son and 2 of his students about what he learned during his encounter with the divine. The book is written from then on as a series of conversations between him and the 3 boys, and they range from philosophical to religious in context. This visit from Pymander, this meeting with the Creator, changed Hermes and awakened him to the secrets that man has longed after since antiquity. It is the canon text of Hermeticism and the source material of authors, philosophers, magicians, and alchemists. There are more texts said to have been written by Hermes Trismeqistus, but the most heavily weighted and altering to the landscape of spirituality, philosophy, and alchemy is the Emerald Tablet.

As Above, So Below

The Emerald Tablet begins, "...<span;>That which is above is like to that which is below, and that which is below is like to that which is above, working the miracles of the One Thing, as all things were from One. Its father is the Sun and its mother the Moon. The Earth carried it in its belly, and the Wind nourished it in its belly, as Earth shall become fire. Feed the Earth from that which is subtle, with the greatest power. It ascends from the Earth to Heaven and becomes ruler over that which is above and that which is below."

A quote synonymous with occultism and the practice of alchemy, it is said the secret of finding the Philosopher's Stone is hidden in the words of this text. Others believe it holds the secrets of creation. And some think it is a spell with uncontested magical power. We can see by the first phrase of this quotation why alchemists, magicians, and the religious and spiritual have studied and championed the common paraphrase, "As above, so below."

The initial statement of Hermes' tablet holds heavy connotations. That which is above is like to that which is below, and that which is below is like to that which is above. This has been translated and understood as a reference to the operation of stars and planets reflecting natural phenomena on Earth and in nature. Another understanding is the biblical equivalent of "...on Earth as it is in Heaven." But when read, one way to look at it is that it is saying that which is above, God, the divine, the Creator, is like to that which is below, humanity. And that which is below, Earth, is like to that which is above, Heaven. We are said in the Bible to have been created in God's image, and Jesus said, "...you will do even greater works than I." This statement by Hermes Trismegistus holds further implications, stating that humans, the created, and God, the One who created them, are one in the same.

It later says that, "<span;>It ascends from the Earth to Heaven and becomes ruler over that which is above and that which is below."  The same way Enoch is thought to have been taken up to Heaven by God, or how the Greek Hermes traveled between Mount Olympus and Earth to send messages for the Gods and thus became a God himself, so through our spiritual practices, whether they be contemplation, magic, or alchemy, we ascend to the heavenly realms of thought and perception and become ruler over that which is below, Earth and our life, but even that which is above, Heaven and the afterlife.

In the labwork of Alchemy, the 7 lines of the full quote of the Emerald Tablet reflect or represent the 7 steps of transmutation, or the transformational process of base metal turning into gold. But in spiritual alchemy, these 7 steps are of the ascension of the spirit to divinity, and my personal concept of and beliefs on this idea will be further outlined later in the book. For now, we move past the notorious, ubiquitous, mysterious, and ever present alchemical figure known as Hermes Trimegistus and we move on to the meaning and symbolism of some of alchemy's most important symbols.

The Phoenix

<span;>The red, gold, and purple bird that lives for centuries, only to die, and live again. Rebirthed from a nest of its own ashes, this symbol of renewal and resurrection dates back to the time of Egypt and Greece. In those times, it represented the Sun God and the life-giving, regenerative flames that cast rays down to Earth. As time went on, though, the phoenix became synonymous with a topic other than religion; alchemy.

Representative of the resurrection of the Philosopher's Stone in its final steps, the Phoenix is one of the highest alchemical symbols used in art and texts on the labwork of alchemy. As the phoenix lived before it was reborn from the ash, so the Philosopher's Stone existed before it was created through transmutation. It lived before its resurrection when matter was perfect, and as Heaven and Earth were separated, the stone was cast into a lesser form, like the ashes of the phoenix. Given life anew from the charred remains of the natural world, a piece of Heaven is restored, and a substance with the power to change base metal into gold is formed. The symbolism of the bird in flight represents that of the ascension of matter back to its heavenly or higher state. The red of the phoenix represents the flame that purifies and transmutes the lead, the gold is the gold that is created from the lead, and the purple is the color of the king, the king that you become, or the regality you achieve by completing the creation of the stone.

Also adopted by Christians in their own symbolism, the Phoenix became a representation of Christ's resurrection. As Christ was risen on the 3rd day, overcoming death and attaining new life, the parallels between the phoenix and Jesus were almost inescapable. It was a symbol of the immortality of the soul, and similarly to the ascension to the heavenly realms in alchemical symbology, in Christianity it symbolized the ascension to Heaven and the return to God.

My own meaning of the Phoenix comes from personal experience, and i hope it is useful to you on your spiritual journey. As you can read on the cover, my work is written under the name Ash. This comes from the symbolism of the phoenix rising from the ash. In this metaphor, i don't see myself as the phoenix, constantly being born anew, like the new selves and new situations we create and go through in our lives. i see myself as the ash, the thing that's always there at the beginning and end of each process of becoming, birthing the new selves and creating the new situations that form me into the person i am. i am the essence of self that is inherently me, though i may change and grow. i'm not what happens to me, i have agency over what happens and i am what i learn from it. And the newborn phoenix that is formed from the remains of my past selves and the higher self i become only leaves room for another incarnation even greater than the last.

The Ouroboros

<span;>The snake eating it's own tail. The Leviathan swallowing itself whole. Like the Phoenix, it originated in ancient Egypt and Greece. It was first used in alchemy by Greek alchemists in Hellenistic Alexandria. Also like the Phoenix, the symbol of the Ouroboros is representative of death and rebirth. But on a grander scale, it symbolizes destruction and creation, as well as time and eternity. The destruction and creation of matter, of life, and of the universe itself.

This iconic alchemical symbol portrays the unity of all matter, both material and spiritual, and embodies both the phrases Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end, and Ordo ab Chao, order through chaos. Used in alchemy, it represents the cyclical or circular process of alchemical work, that never truly has an end, only new beginnings. In Gnosticism, it represents the transmigration of souls from one life to the next, from the divine realm in which we were created, to Earth, and back to that heavenly state at the point of death. There are many interpretations, but the embodiment of this, the most ancient symbol in alchemy, is the phrase, "All is One."


All Things came from One Thing, and the One Thing resides in All Things. The One Thing wished so to experience itself that it emanated down from the highest point, creating reflections of itself to see and interact with. The spark of the divine is trapped in everything material, and the material is trapped in the creation of the divine. This cyclical nature is represented by the Ouroboros, and as the head of the snake sees its tail, the highest point seeing the lowest point of itself, so the tail meets the head, the lowest coming in contact with the highest. As God sees us and sees himself in us, we make contact with the Creator of All Things and see him in ourselves. This is my meaning for the Ouroboros, and one i believe is shared by a great many alchemists. I hope it helps you build your own interpretation of the symbol to aid you on your own path of growth and development. This is where we conclude the conversation of alchemy's most prominent and ancient symbols, and we turn to one of the most modern forms of alchemy.

Christian Alchemy

In this book, we started with the oldest form of alchemy, Egyptian Alchemy, and now, i'd like to lead our dialogue to the newest major form of alchemy that formed far after the ancient practice of Egypt, Christian Alchemy. The Christian alchemists' goal was a religious and spiritual practice of alchemical work, prayer, and meditation to return from the state of the fall to a place at the side of God. i talked at length about the similarities between Christ and the Philosopher's Stone in my novel The Alchemy of Self. So here, i would like to talk about the 7 steps of the practical and spiritual process of the alchemist and its relation to God and the 7 days of creation in Genesis.

Calcination, dissolution, seperation, conjunction, fermentation, distillation, and coagulation. The 7 steps of transmutation during the process in which lead is transformed into gold. The first is the fire that purifies, the second is to dissolve the ashes from the fire in water, the third is to seperate the pure from the impure, the fourth is to mix and merge all pure material into a new, greater material, the fifth is to ferment this new material with alcohol or acidic chemicals and bring about the process of death and resurrection, the sixth is the refining process in which the material is distilled and purified for the last time, and the final process is where the liquid and the substance solidify and the stone becomes whole.

This reflects the act of creation in Genesis, with the first day being the creation of light and darkness. The flame is the light that God brought into the universe when he said, "Let there be light." The ashes are the darkness that was separated from light.  The second day was the creation of the atmosphere and the firmament, the seperation of Earth from chaos as the ashes are dissolved in water. The third day was the creation of the Earth itself and plants. The creation of Earth was God's crown achievement, and to create it out of the impurity of chaos was to bring order, like separating the pure from the impure. The fourth day brought about the sun, moon, and stars. Like mixing the material and creating a new, greater material, God merged the Earth with the firmament and created the heavens above, which to this day we still see as a higher or heavenly realm, like the higher form of material created in the process of conjunction. The fifth day was that of creating birds and sea creatures. Like the death and resurrection brought from the fermentation of the newfound material, so the cycle of life was brought about with the plants by bringing the birds to eat them and spread seed and the sea creatures to compete and do the act of nature. The sixth day was the creation of land animals and humans, and like the refining process of the sixth step, the world was truly refined to its final state with the creation of humans, the reflection of God, and the mammals and insects of the land to keep ecosystems in balance and hunt the animals of the sea and the air. The 7th day is where God rested, and he was pleased, and the 7th step is literally where the alchemist gets to rest after months of labwork and wait for the materials to solidify into the stone. We can see the way that the story of Genesis was seen by Christian alchemists to be a macrocosmic example of their own microcosmic pursuit to turn lead to gold.

Genesis

On the first day, the Alchemist said, "Let there be lead. This is my ego. i feel the flames of ego burning and the ashes of my psyche are what will be used to form my higher self."

On the second day, the Alchemist said, "Let there be iron. These are my feelings. i feel the waters of emotion dissolving what is there of my ego and the ashes of my consciousness and i also feel negative emotion still driving my actions."

On the third day, the Alchemist said, " Let there be tin. These are my actions. i see both the good and the bad, and how they form me, and i make a choice to do the good for the betterment of my spirit and the quality of my life."

On the fourth day, the Alchemist said, "Let there be copper. This is my desire. i wish to become an enlightened being and true alchemist of the soul and gain control of my ego, feelings, and actions. i will bring my conscious thought, emotion, and doings together to form a declaration."

On the fifth day, the Alchemist said, "Let there be mercury. This is my declaration. i will overcome my ego, control my feelings, and choose the right actions to create a life worth living and a self to be proud of. i will melt away the egotism that hinders me, the negative emotion the lessens my spirit, and the wrong choices that keep me from the divinity i seek. i will be born anew."

On the sixth day, the Alchemist said, "Let there be silver. This is my awakening. i will let the water of love dissolve hate, the water of happiness dissolve sadness, and the water of consciousness dissolve ego. i will refine myself with the highest states of being and learn to live in this state lastingly and by choice. i will become enlightened."

On the 7th day, the Alchemist said, "Let there be gold. This is my enlightenment. i have gained understanding, agency, and control of my ego, feelings, and actions, and i feel a new self formed where my lesser state had once resided. This new self is the gold that i truly seeked. i no longer live in the mind, but in the heart. This is the true goal of the alchemist of the soul and i have achieved what is the Philosopher's Stone of the spirit and the self."

The 7 steps of Transmutation

The mantra and affirmation i created above are based on the affirmations of the 7 chakras, which have been tied to the 7 steps of alchemy just like the 7 days of creation. i hope this repeatable passage helps you to become the alchemist you dream of being. Now, let's leave the symbolism of labwork and look at the 7 steps of the transmutation of the spirit in Spiritual Alchemy.

The calcination of the soul is the burning away of the impurities of ego and negative thought patterns with the fires of reflection and contemplation, leaving only the ashes of the ego; the identity, the personality, and the self. These are then dissolved in a process of dissolution by the water of emotion and feeling, what we must become in tune with to truly move to a place of understanding ourselves. The third is to seperate the productive and beneficial parts of our identity and personality and the parts that don't serve us. The fourth is to take all the good parts of our identity and personality and merge them together into a new, more effective self. The fermentation an alchemist undergoes is the rigorous process of introspection to come to their final realization or catharsis that brings them to enligthenment. The sixth is to choose new things about ourselves we wish to achieve, learn, and attain on our spiritual journey as it comes to a close. And the seventh is to live life in a constant practice of your spiritual alchemy and watch as the Philosopher's Stone of the soul solidifies over time by consistently practicing.

The affirmations of the 7 chakras are as follows: I am, I feel, I do or I will, I love or I desire, I speak, I see or I know, and I understand. Another process of spiritual alchemy is to go up and down the 7 chakras and manifest things you wish to be or understand. For example, if you are depressed, and wish to understand why you are depressed, then you would continue with the affirmations like this: i am depressed, i feel depressed, i will to not be depressed, i desire to not be depressed, i say i will no longer be depressed, i know depression, i understand depression. Along with that, you would add why you feel depressed and the reasons not to be depressed anymore, and come to the conclusion over time that at least if you can't stop feeling depressed right away, you understand how to overcome depression. Sometimes not understanding something is what makes it all the worse, and understanding it gives you power over how you feel about it and how it effects you.

Now let's say you wish to be happy. You would start with the affirmation "I understand." since you can't truly say "I am happy." That is the ultimate goal at the end, though. You would start in this manner: i understand that i want to be happy, i see myself happy, i say i will be happy, i love so i am happy, i will my own happiness, i feel happy, i am happy." The repeating of mantras has power in itself, but the effort here is in trying to truly mean what you say and reflect on the truth of the statements you are making. You love, so you deserve to be happy. You will your own happiness instead of letting sadness overcome you, and you should be proud of that. That pride should make you feel happy. And once you do, you can truly say, "i am happy." These have been examples of going up and down the chakras with the affirmations tied to them, and i hope that this process is effective in reframing your thoughts and controlling your emotions on your spiritual path. That was my personal belief on the 7 steps of transmutation in spiritual alchemy, but from here, i'd like to transition to an idea that goes hand in hand with the Philosopher's Stone and is the second most important idea next to it in alchemy.

The Panacea

<span;>Along with the highly coveted stone of the alchemists, there was another substance that was said to be able to be found through the labwork of alchemy and metaphorically achieved through the practice of spiritual alchemy. The elixir said to cure all diseases and grant immortality to any who ingested it, known by the name the Panacea, after the Greek Goddess of the same name. Called the Elixir of Life, it was sought by alchemists of almost every region, from Chinese alchemists practicing Taoist Alchemy, to Greek alchemists practicing classical alchemy. It is the sister to the Philosopher's Stone and finding it was the pursuit of many notable alchemists.

In spiritual alchemy, the Panacea represents a realization or catharsis that heals the sicknesses of the spirit, cures the illnesses of the ego, and remedies the ailments of consciousness. It grants the immortality of the soul, or a lasting, ever present state of enlightened living and higher thought. This realization is brought about by the practice of contemplation, meditation, reflection, or prayer, and is a long process that will last many years and take constant effort. The ultimate catharsis will be a culmination of the realizations you have had throughout your spiritual journey and will be definitive to your final transformation into a true alchemist. This will be the lesson you teach other alchemists and the healing you will give to the masses through your own spiritual development.

Gold

We've spoken of the Philosopher's Stone and the Panacea, 2 of the goals sought by transmutation, but the third is the one known by all who have heard of alchemy and all who have studied until the ends of their lives and traveled to the ends of the Earth to find it; Gold. Kings have conquested for it, warriors have died for it. Treasure hunters and miners have searched for it. And alchemists tried to create it. From lead and a variety of lab chemicals, the philosophers tested method after method to try to bring the illustrious metal to being. But what was it about Gold other than it's value that was so important to the practitioners of alchemy?

The true reason for the alchemical search for gold was the perfection of matter, bringing the material world around the alchemist to its highest state of being. It was thought by many alchemists that the universe was in a constant process of refining and bettering itself, and the role of the alchemist was to help in that process. The same way gold came into being in a mine over thousands of years of natural processes, it was so that the process could be sped up with the aid of lab equipment and chemicals. As seeds became trees and water became clouds, the alchemist could turn lead into gold.

Gold was seen as the highest and most noble metal, a reflection and representation of God and the most perfect form of matter. Chrysopeia, or the act of turning lead into gold, was a physical process that could also transform the mind and soul along with it. It also represented the Sun, as the Sun was seen as a manifestation of the divine and the most perfect of the heavenly bodies.

Representing the Sun's life-giving and restorative power, Gold was a symbol of spiritual transformation and enlightenment. One of the main ideas of alchemy is the concept of creation and destruction, and the same way the Sun gives life to the universe but can also destroy anything that comes near it, Gold could metaphorically give life to someone, granting wisdom and prosperity to an alchemist, or destroy a person, sending them on a path of greed and vanity.

Gold also symbolized immortality. It's incorruptible nature was a representation of humankind's longing for eternal life. In this way, it also represented Heaven, and before Christianity it was a symbol of the afterlife since the time of the Eqyptians. It was said to shine divine light and give any who held it the energy of life.

Modern science has proved that the effort of the alchemists was not in vain, when molecules of lead were turned to gold in a particle accelerator in 1941. The amount of energy needed to change this minute amount of lead into gold was far beyond that any alchemist could harness, but that is only true if we do not take into consideration the harnessing of the Prima Materia, which could hold enough energy if it truly is what we believe dark matter to be.
<span;>Either way, the truth of the pursuit of the philosophers was proven and to this day, we know that the practice of alchemy and the search for gold is not futile, but completely possible.

The First Matter

This concludes our conversation on the concepts and ideology of classical and spiritual alchemy. This is an informational piece, and my wish for this book is for it to be your Prima Materia, or the first step on your path as an alchemist. With an overarching theme of personal development and spiritual growth, and a wide range of the main topics alchemy is based on, i hope for this to be the building block to the entirety of your journey to find the Philosopher's Stone as the Prima Materia is the building block to the entirety of existence.

We spoke of Egyptian Alchemy, the most ancient form of alchemy and the logical beginning for anyone learning about the topic. We talked about Hermes Trismegistus, the most prominent figure in alchemy and the creator of 2 of its most important texts and arguably it's most iconic phrase, "As Above, So Below." We spoke of The Phoenix, one of the highest symbols of alchemy in art and alchemical texts, and one with much potential to teach and reflect on for your own spiritual insight. We talked about The Ouroboros, the most ancient symbol in alchemy and its many representations, along with its encompassing phrase, "All is One." We spoke of Christian Alchemy, and the Christian alchemists' similarities to God during the act of creation in Genesis. We talked about The 7 steps of Transmutation, and what they can mean in both classical and spiritual alchemy as well for you on your path to your highest state. We spoke of The Panacea, and what it is a metaphor for, the cathartic realization that solidifies your enlightenment and divinity. We talked about Gold, the most well known pursuit of alchemists since the creation of the art and all of its different symbolisms. And we spoke of the Prima Materia, the intangible substance that fills the empty space of the universe, the first material used to find the Philosopher's Stone and the Elixir of Life, and the pieces of our life, mind, and soul that make up our unconsious and conscious experience and form us into the people we are. i believe this collection of topics to be a great starting point for the alchemist beginning their quest to become their true self, and i hope you use it as a point of reference throughout your learning and travels.

The God Within

Lastly, an idea i referred to the Prima Materia as at the beginning of the novel was "the divine spark," and i'd like to expound on that as the conclusion to this piece. As said before, the Prima Materia is in everything within reality, including you. The First Matter has been called the Soul, Heaven, and Spirit, and for good reason. it is these things, because it is destined to become these things. The Prima Materia is the potential for Godhood, and all it takes is acting on that potential to reach the divinity we seek as spiritualists and alchemists. You have the potential to love. So love. You have the potential to teach. So teach. You have the potential to be happy. So be happy. This may not always be as easy as just saying it, but working towards making these pursuits second nature and a part of the life you live is the greatest undertaking. It was said earlier in the affirmation in the chapter Genesis, that the alchemist has stopped living in the mind and has begun living in the heart. This is the most difficult task of any person, spiritual or not, and when achieved is the way to becoming truly enlightened and without sorrow or anger. The ego clouds thought, judgement, and emotion, and the ego is the extension of the mind. The heart feels, the heart guides, the heart loves. To me, the Prima Materia is not the consciousness, but the heart, because when you use that as the starting point to your spiritual journey, or anything in life, you are destined to succeed and come to something greater than you could have ever imagined.

Feel the left side of your chest. The gold you search for is not far beneath.

 

Stigmata of the Wanderer.

1. Unscathed.

He drew his sword, and the inquisitor from the north fell on it. One puncture through the abdomen and his enemy had fallen. One strike, one death. There wasn't even a battle. The uncontested warrior had another victory to pride himself on and to say he had honed his skills to achieve. He had never lost, easily enough as he was still alive, but what drove his foes from the frontline was that he had never once been hurt in battle.

Not one slice or blow had ever come in contact with the skin of the Templar. The Templar was a holy knight, one who had left the ranks of the inquisition to truly test himself in the competition of war. He found no sport in conquesting towns of people to convert them to the ways of the Lord, and over the years he began to believe it unethical. One forced to believe out of fear was no better than one that didn't believe. For faith lied in the love of the Creator, and fear was the opposite of love.

He felt that his unwavering morality was what kept him from being bested in battle, that he had been blessed by the One above to become the greatest fighter and swordsman and go down in history for his noble pursuit. He walked away from the fallen inquisitor, sword resheathed, and went to open his Book of Records. An acumen of his earned kills, learned spells, and knowledge from travels taken from scrolls of defeated enemies and differently translated Bibles.

He was a gifted sorcerer, an adept of every type of sorcery ranging from necromancy, the way of the dead, to pyromancy, the art of fire, and even cleromancy, the path of divination through chance and probability, but of course, he was most of all a master of Theurgy, the magic of God. Though he was talented in all of these arts, he chose to forego the arcane in almost every circumstance for the use of his sword.

A greatsword that he forged himself on the smithing anvil of a blacksmith that he overcame in an Alexandrian town, the first town he conquested with the Knights Templar for their continued practice of ancient Greek magic and worship of their Pantheon. It's name was Deus Ex Machina, The God Machine. Thought by the knight to be his tool as an agent of fate and God's will, he had enchanted the sword with the name Yawheh and the runes of every land he had traveled to and defeated a competitor in. He believed by overcoming his enemies, he became the holder of their arcane knowledge, tasked with passing it down. And the knowledge of every land in the world would one day be on his sword to be taught to the warrior that finally bested him and claimed the blade.

Dominus Azarus. The Knights Templar who left the order in search of solitude and the mastery of combat. The apprentice of the monk Nesketar, who had no last name that the knight knew of, but through his ascension to a place of communication with God, had started to simply go by the last name Christ. Nesketar Christ taught him divination, meditation, and prayer, and most notably how to channel the inner light of the Soul and summon it as an energy from the palm. He said this was taught to him by God himself, even though he had come to learn the art by his own practices, because he saw God as a reflection of him and himself as a reflection of the divine. He always gave all praise to the Most High, and Dominus admired him for that.

Nesketar also trained him in every style of swordsmanship and in every move that he knew. When he became a monk, he swore an oath to never use a sword on a human being again, but he made it a point to still train the Templar who was on the path he once was. He thought that going through the conflict of warfare was the only way to truly come to a place of understanding the human condition, and that one who had made their choice to fight for God would not be swayed from their purpose, but their path would ultimately lead them to a place of pacifism and the study of the Word. He knew they would have treacherous trials ahead of them against enemies of all kinds, and his main desire was limiting and lessening the death of God's people, so he trained. He trained to teach them to protect themselves. He trained to teach them to fight nobly. And he trained to teach them never to take life without knowing that one day, God would take theirs as well. No one was immortal, Dominus had heard that enough times, especially because of his flawless record of skirmishes. He had let it get to his head before, and make him think that he was untouchable. But he reminded himself, his ultimate goal was to find a true opponent that would wound him with a skill he had never known to exist.

Above all things that characterized the knight, the one that truly defined him was that he was a wanderer. He wandered from land to land, challenging warrior, fighter, and assassin alike to see who could make him feel tested. His prayer was, "Lord. i search for strength only contested by yours. i search for wisdom only given by you and by battle. i search for the end of my days. Show me my opponent. Amen." He had been told he had a death wish, but he would never wish to die by his own hand, he only wished to be proven mortal and defeatable. He questioned why he was given the gift of his unshakable martial skill, but said to himself that there had to be someone who was the best at everything, and if he was chosen to be the best at this, it was his duty to do it justice. He wanted to be beaten one day, but he wouldn't let it happen easily.

Where other warriors had scars and bruises, his skin was unflawed. A bronze that matched the hue of Phoenician armor, or the walls of Byzantium. His lack of scarring reminded him that he had yet to find an equal. He wandered into a town on the edge of a new land, as he could see by the border posting, and came across a guard with a greatsword almost as large as his.

2. Unflawed.

The knight approached the gate of the town, and he was instantly greeted with suspicion. His stature had always put combatants on edge, but the guard of this city was almost as towering of a figure as Dominus. The Templar drew his sword and sized up the guard. His armor was made of dragon bone. All of the dragons were long dead, but Dominus had come across the skeleton of one in his travels from Jerusalem to the Slavic mountains and chose to craft his armor from its remains. As he came close to the guard, he would have gotten face to face if it weren't for his helmet being the top of the skull of the dragon, it's snout protruding outwards with fangs hanging down.

Like his skin, the armor was unflawed, without a notch in it. And he intended to keep it that way today. The guard asked, "What's your business in Thelessia?" To which Dominus replied, "i don't need to enter Thelessia, i've already found what i was searching for." "And what is that?" asked the guard. "A duel to the end. A challenging competitor. You." finished Dominus.

The guard finished by saying, "i see your crest and know you are a Templar from Jerusalem. i know you are fierce warriors and believe you are driven by the will of God. But know this, i fight for Thelessia. My name is Michinas. i fight for my King, because without him i would have nothing to protect. i fight for my Father, because without him i would have nothing to hold dear. And i fight for my God, because without Him i would not know who is right and who is wrong in this world. You are wrong, you don't look for a duel to the end. You look to meet your maker. The difference between us is i wait until that day comes and do everything in my power to avoid it being brought about. You seek out conflict, and that's not the will of any God i know." And with that final statement, he pulled his sword off his back and grabbed the hilt with 2 hands.

Dominus heard his words, but didn't have time to consider them. The rush of the coming battle affirmed him that he was right in his conviction to be the greatest knight. He said, "You're a Goliath of a man, and your sword towers to the heavens just like mine. You fight for your God and i see the passion in you. And you wish to kill me as much as i wish to kill you. i truly hope for this to be the battle where i am finally bested, and meet my Maker like you stated." The guard completed their dialogue by saying, "You're insane. Let me end your delusion."

The guard lept from beside the gate and drew his sword back over his head. Even though he was a mass of weight, he still moved with agility like that of the desert winds. The only thing was, though, that he had no form. His sword drawn above his helmet, his whole chest was open for an attack. To make it a challenge, Dominus let him get in the first swing, but did not anticipate that the sword would fall faster than he could see, a guillotine blade dropped by the rafters that were the guard's arms. Dominus jumped back, and in the singular backward motion, Michinas got in 2 more swings. He could only imagine how quickly the guard would strike with a sword of regular weight.

Dominus was done playing with him, and he stopped holding his sword in one hand and grasped it with 2. He peddled backwards a few yards as the guard's sword got stuck in the ground at the end of one swing. And then, he waited. He waited for him to show his lack of form again and give him an opening. The massive guard raised his sword above his head again before he ran toward Dominus, and when he got close enough, it was over. Dominus slashed one time across his midsection and left a diagonal cut from shoulder to rib. He watched the guard fall, and disappointed that he wasn't trained better to accompany his size and passion, he wandered away from the town to the next challenger he could find.

As he walked off, he looked down at his armor, and it was still unflawed. It was almost a melancholy feeling upon looking at its perfection in the place of where pride once stood. He truly thought that if this would not have been the man to kill him, he would have at least been the one to put a scratch on him.

Who would this challenger be? Looking at his helmet in a the reflection of a nearby lake on the path he walked, he thought to himself that he wished dragons were still alive. If no human could defeat him, maybe a dragon would have been a true challenge.

The unflawed knight, unflawed in his skill, unflawed in his status, and unflawed in his appearance, came towards another town, this one without any guards. He liked towns without a royal guard, it meant that there was more crime brewing in the city and that there would be more dangerous fighters. He hoped here, he would find someone to simply put a crack in his suit of armor. To break the dragon bone. He said his prayer, and with the final words of it, he finished with Amen and was off to have God show him his opponent.

3. Uncontested.

He saw a sign as he entered a courtyard in the center of the town. Belrein, a place he had heard of in tales from his own land. It used to be a safehaven for Christians before they were met by the Knights Templar to protect them in their travels across Europe. The promenade was full of life, and it ranged with peoples varying from what looked like court nobles to beggars. There was a guild of traders selling weapons and potions, and an armorer with countless sets of fine apparel. Dominus even saw a dagger made of a dragon's tooth, and he bought it to go with his dragon bone cuirass.

The dagger on his waist, opposite the other waist holding his Book of Records and Deus Ex Machina, he walked the town with an auspicious eye for anyone that may be looking to clash swords. As he got further into the city, things got seedier and more unkempt. There were alehouses with fights going on outside, there was gambling in alleyways and on corners under lamplight, and there were soothsayers swindling anyone unknowing enough to actually have their fortune told or palm read. He started noticing many people in robes, and he thought there may be a guild of sorcerers in the town.

From street to street, he contemplated his last victory over Michinas. A fairly easy win, if it hadn't been for his speed and colossal strength. A few swings of his blade actually came close to hitting Dominus. The end blow was easy to achieve, though, and the Templar still wondered who must have given the guard that audacious training. The people of some lands simply have militaries and masters that don't have the martial knowledge of other lands. Jerusalem was a land of much turmoil throughout biblical history, and by the year of our Lord 1172, it's citizens had been forced to take up arms enough times to learn the ways of battle and the techniques of their fallen adversaries.

He contemplated his last victory over Michinas. Dominus thought again, if he, my equal in stature and passion, could not defeat me, with a sword of the same magnitude as mine, then who could? He tried to be grateful to God for granting him the strength he constantly prayed for and keeping him devoted to his purpose, but beyond being the greatest warrior of all the holy knights, he wanted someone to prove that he was fallible. Dominus had been told since he was young that he was a brave, proud, and honest boy and that he would grow into the heroism that he was destined. But what he failed to tell anyone was that he did not feel brave, or proud, or honest, that was simply the way he was. He wondered why he opted to protect the weak, to praise the name of his family, his master, and his land, and to tell the truth even when difficult, but he only knew that it was because God had made him so. Why did God not make everyone this way? And what was he to do with these noble qualities?

Like his father, he chose to be a Templar. He thought that his bravery would lead him to the rescue of those in need on the battlefield, and that his pride would make him a faithful follower of the Order and a representative of Jerusalem, but he knew not how his honesty would benefit him as a knight. The only conclusion that he could come to was that knowing his own truthfulness, he would be able to judge the honesty of others and decide who would truly follow God and change their ways in the face of inquisition, and who would not and have to be killed.

He left the Knights Templar, though, because of a change in outlook. What was honesty if it was only used as a deciding factor in whether someone lived or died? Were the liar, the thief, and the sinner not also saved? His purpose for the use of his honesty fell short of its initial intention when actually undertaken and left Dominus with nothing but guilt.

He chose to forego his moral stance for killing his enemies, and took on the philosophical view that fighting was for the betterment of his own skill and the proof that he could not be defeated. To prove that he was made brave and proud for a reason. To prove that he was indomitable, like the will of the God that made him the way he was. A manifestation of the Most High, as He was the greatest craftsman, architect, and constructor, Dominus would be the greatest swordsman, sorcerer, and knight.

Over 10 years, Dominus had proved this time and again. Never once left with a mark. He joined the Templars at 27, left after 1 year of escorting Christians across Europe and converting townspeople along the way, and fought for 9 more years as a wanderer of every land he could make it to. He was now 37, and in all his battles, he was still brave, even more so without the army of the Order fighting with him, and he was still proud, wearing the crest of the Templars to never forget who taught him his skills, keeping the memory of his father, and praying every day to God to send him further towards his goal. But honest, was he still honest? When he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn't truly being honest with God at all.

He wanted God to prove that he was fallible. He started his quest as a Templar and the journey he walks as a wanderer with the firm belief that it was God's will for him to be the greatest warrior and never be defeated in battle. But sometimes he felt that up until this point, he had simply not met someone more dedicated to training than he was. There was someone who was training while he was sleeping, training while he was eating, training while he prayed, and training while he wandered. In some faraway land, no matter how often Dominus was in a duel, and it was every day, there was someone who was working even harder than he was. He had gotten lucky so far. A cleromancer, a master of the knowledge of probability and chance, and a Christian, a believer in divine order and the will of Yahweh, but here he was thinking of luck. Luck was the antithesis of faith, because if things simply happened by luck, there would be nothing to pray for and nothing that was put in motion by God's hand. This doubt, this doubt in being Chosen by God to be the best at what he did, and if God would even choose someone for the pursuit of which he had undertaken, was what made him think he wasn't honest. He was fallible. And not only morally fallible, but this would play out in combat and he would be fallible in battle. When he saw the unwavering, unbridled skill of a warrior even greater than himself, would he still be brave? Or would he fear for his life? When he was defeated, would he still be proud? Or would he be inconsolable? He said he wanted someone to best him one day, he even prayed it, but he wasn't being honest.

4. Scathed.

His inner questioning led him down many roads in the city of Belrein. He was shaken, and he felt that what he feared may be coming across his path soon. An adversary worthy of besting him for the first time. There was only a few lengths of road left to search for someone to challenge, but down the street he was on, he could see a figure in a black robe like the ones of the people he thought were sorcerers when he entered the town. He was standing against a flamelit lamppost with a pack on his back and a dagger in each hand.

As Dominus approached the shadowy figure, he could only feel that for the first time in all of his years wielding a sword, he wasn't ready for battle. The weight on his conscience and his spirit were holding him back from focusing in battle after the exchange he had with himself about honesty, and he didn't want that being the reason he lost if he ever did. But would this feeling ever leave? He wouldn't let the thought get in his head. He may have been shaken, but his faith was unshakable. God had granted him leaviathanic stature and the ability to fight with the might of 7 men, and he would not let that all be undone by some qualms with self. He straightened up his attitude, put his hand on his sword, and walked closer.

As he neared the apparent sorcerer, he could see that he was nearly as tall as himself, but with the build of a feral greyhound. He was withered, and not from fasting. Dominus knew about fasting from Nesketar the monk, who practiced it for years on end over 2 week periods with one meal every 3 days and water 5 times a day. This left him with his muscles receding and skin tight to the bone. But the man in front of him was even worse. He wore a black robe, with silver plating around the chest, and a hood over light white hair. The robe was tight fitting, and the diameter of the man couldn't have been more than that of a eucalyptus sapling. His 2 daggers were enchanted with runes like Deus Ex Machina, but they looked like ancient Hebrew exclusively and the blades had numbers between the Yiddish letters.

Dominus wondered what was in his pack. It was a large pack, full with something that was causing it to protrude extensively. He simply asked him, "What's in the pack?" The sorcerer put the pack down in silence and pulled the drawstring at the top. He pulled out a bone and showed it to the Templar. Then he pulled out another bone. Then a skull. Dominus had no idea what the robed man's plan was, but he had a fear. When he finished taking out all the bones and arranging them anatomically, he started drawing a circle and a sigil on the inside of it around the skeleton. His fear was correct. He was a necromancer.

The necromancer stayed in silence as he finished the magical symbols and Dominus said, "i too know necromancy. i never thought of keeping the remains of the lost with me, only using those that had fallen on the battlefield." The necromancer didn't reply. The knight said, "What spell will you use to raise it?" The man in the robe said nothing. When the circle was complete, he simply waved his hand over it and took one of his daggers to put a small cut on his finger for a blood offering. Dominus said one last thing, starting to get frustrated, "Will you at least tell me your name before i kill you and kill your skeleton again?" The necromancer said back, "Xeneus." and the skeleton rose.

His name was Xeneus or the spell was Xeneus? He said nothing else to summon the skeleton. It must have been the spell. "What is your name?" Dominus said again. The necromancer said, "Xeneus." and handed the skeleton one of his daggers. Was he able to make the skeleton rise without even casting a spell vocally? Only the magicians of old like Solomon and Merlin were said to be able to do that, and other than them, it is solely Christ that could raise the dead with nothing but his palms. This must have been a great magician who lived for many centuries and held on to the secrets. He almost always chose to bypass the arcane, but Dominus knew in that moment he might have to use magic in this battle.

After saying his name the second time, he waved his hand again and the skeleton sprang forth with the dagger. Xeneus followed behind with the other enchanted dagger and his other palm was raised to cast sorceries. The skeleton moved with the nimble movements of an actual human, normally these animate disfigurements moved shakily and slowly, but this spell that the sorcerer in front of him had cast gave him the posture and physical acumen of any fighter. It neared Dominus, and he dodged hectically as the skeleton jabbed the dagger at his ribs from side to side. He was so busy dodging the undead warrior, he looked away from Xeneus for a moment, and when he looked back he saw that the necromancer had a black aura around his hand. Dark magic.

The necromancer thrust his hand forward and a ray of dark energy came from his palm. Dominus ducked and swept the legs out from under the skeleton. It fell and broke apart on impact, but Xeneus was still behind and picked up the dagger from the fingers of the skeleton. He picked up where it left off, piercing the air within a hair of the knight, but this time aiming for his face. With the onslaught of 2 combatants finished, Dominus took his first slash at the necromancer from the waist and nearly got him, but the necromancer stopped attacking and used both daggers crossed together to block the sword coming up from below. He pushed back with all his force and knocked the blade of the sword into the dirt, and within the second that it took Dominus to pull it out of the ground, was already back to slicing with the daggers.  Dominus remembered his battle with Michinas, and he peddled backwards a few meters to gain composure.

The necromancer did something the Templar didn't expect, and went back over to the skeleton. He had to get to him before he could raise his hand, he didn't know if he could handle the onslaught of the 2 of them again. He did what he tried not to do, and resorted to pyromancy to clear the distance he made backpeddling. He yelled from within, "Pyreia!" while raising his hand outwards, and a burst of flame as large as a bonfire came out. It tracked the necromancer though he tried to dodge, and hit him in the shoulder. The upper half of his robe above the silver plating caught on fire, and his white hair was engulfed in flame. He fell to the floor, no longer silent, but screaming, and when the yelling stopped, Dominus approached him. He stood over him, thinking him a worthy adversary and hoping him good judgement in the afterlife, but what he did not realize was that Xeneus was not dead. With dagger still in hand, he reached over to where Dominus was standing by the side of his charred body and slashed his achilles with the dagger. That was his dying movement, and he still lost the battle, but the Templar, for once, had been scathed.

5. Flawed.

The pain seared through Dominus' heel like the flames of hell themself. A dastardly trick. A dubious move. An unfair last gesture. Beyond what he was learning to be physical pain, the betrayal from what he thought was an equal as a rival was what really hurt the most. He thought Xeneus a formidable adversary, not one who would play dead to get in one strike.

He tried to walk off, but all he could do was limp. He couldn't put any weight on the foot that was slashed without the Earth feeling like it was coming down around him. As he hobbled, he wondered if the necromancer had simply gotten the flesh and muscle, or if he cut all the way to the arterie.

He sat in the fetal position, looking at the wound on the back of his ankle. A flaw. He overlooked the rest of his skin and its perfection, and then looked down and saw the imperfection that had been placed upon him. He was flawed. Not only physically, but in his judgement. How could he not know that Xeneus was not dead? He simply assumed because the screaming stopped, but he didn't check for breathing or movement like he usually did. The heat of the battle and how hectically his 2 adversaries were fighting might have thrown Dominus off, actually standing in the face of a challenge worthy of making him fear for his life. He may have been thrown off by being forced to use magic, he always chose to forego the arcane, and for good reason. He felt that there was nothing personal in killing with magic, with a sword you had to stand over the fallen enemy and watch them die. With magic, you simply cast and they're dead, if you're a powerful enough magician. And Dominus was a learned and artful sorcerer. But this time, something kept Xeneus from dying right away. The knight must have held back. He didn't want to use magic. He saw what magic had made the necromancer, but he resorted to it anyway.

He was defeated by someone who was not the greatest warrior, but someone who would do anything to win. Do anything to kill. Xeneus was a strong and technical fighter, but in the end he chose trickery to even the playing field with his adversary. And truthfully, Dominus didn't lose the battle. Even though, he was hurt in battle, something he never wanted to happen until he was truly bested and able to hand down his sword to the noble warrior who overcame him. This was different. Now, there was a dissonance Dominus could feel with the outcome of his last duel. Why would God allow me to have my perfect record ruined in this way? By this series of events in particular? Why would he let me be scathed after Xeneus had already fallen?

Dominus was losing a lot of blood. He walked back over to Xeneus' body, ripped off a piece of his robe, and used it to wrap his achilles as tightly as possible. The bleeding wouldn't stop, though. He had gotten past the question of why he had lost, and he was thinking, am i really going to die? Is this where my journey ends, and is this how? What will death be like? He started to wonder if he would truly return to his Creator, if all the blood on his hands was really justified by the Lord above. If the conquest of the peoples of other lands was his mission. If being the best warrior was truly a noble pursuit in the eyes of God and if he had truly chosen it by divine inspiration. <span;>He felt forsaken on his quest. Forsaken, like Christ felt on the cross. The cut on his achilles was his stigmata, and all he could ask was, "Father, why have you forsaken me?" <span;>He had beaten his greatest enemy, only to die anyway. Was there any meaning in this? The Templar started to feel fear greater than any he had ever felt, to think of his father who was no longer here, and to pray to God for insight into what the reason behind his inevitable death was.

As he thought he was on his way out, laying back and starting to lose vision, getting lightheaded, he heard footsteps down the road and saw a shadow being cast from the lamplight. Another figure in a robe, much shorter this time and with long, blonde hair coming out from the hood. "Master Xeneus!" The figure leaned over the singed body and confirmed it was his master. This was the apprentice of the necromancer. Xeneus was the leader of the sorcerer's guild that was there at the entrance to town.

"You killed my master." He said to Dominus. "Do you even know who he was?" The Templar replied, "No. All he would say was his name." The young man in the robe said, "He was the man that developed necromancy in a time immemorial. He was the man that created a school of magic. He was the master of many. He was the one that taught under the Lord. He was the ancient Xeneus Osocor." Developed necromancy? That would make him thousands of years old, not centuries like Dominus had thought before. "Why did he create necromancy in the first place?" Dominus asked. The robed figure said, "He was a master of many arcane arts, and had one apprentice to survive his teachings. This apprentice was tasked towards the end of his learning with traveling to learn of the arts of different regions. In his travels, he came across a group of ritualists and tried to learn their ways, but he was sacrificed in a blood ritual and never returned to Master Xeneus. Xeneus was distraught, inconsolable, and without reprieve, and he wanted to find a way to bring his apprentice back from the dead. So he developed necromancy over 78 years of practice and formation. When he finally finished, he went to the land where the ritual took place, and found the remains of his apprentice in a temple outside the town. The skeleton was still in our signature black robe with this crest. It is said he used the magic he formed to try to raise his apprentice from the dead, but what came to him was only a shell of what the vibrant, young pupil once was. A lifeless husk, like you probably saw in battle with Master Xeneus. After learning he could never get his student back, he took an oath of silence and vowed to never say anything but his name again, the name of the man who sent his apprentice to get killed. He taught us only through writing in scrolls and has kept his vow for over 2 millenia. And he kept his remains with him in a pack so he could in some way still always fight and cast spells by his side."

Dominus was moved. Did he really try to end the life of this tortured soul for the sake of competition? This arcane herald of the way of the dead? This master of many, including the robed boy who sits in front of me? What if someone were to try to kill Nesketar? He wouldn't know what to do other than kill them first. He remembered the screams when the fire hit Xeneus, was it his duty to bring that type of pain into this world? The pain he could now feel? The essence of evil that was jolting through the back of his leg and keeping him from feeling peace or composure? And what of all the other people he killed? How many others were masters, or fathers, or religious leaders in their own rite? "Did you love your master?" asked the Templar.  The boy said, "Yes, i did." The knight asked, "What is your name?" And he simply replied, "Keinan."

"You're going to bleed out if i don't do something." the young man said. He unwrapped Dominus' ankle, clasped it in both hands, and whispered loudly, "Asoria!" and a golden light came from his palms and closed the wound left by the necromancer. Dominus was surprised, "If i killed your master, and you loved him, why are you saving me?" Keinan said, "Because i could see you changing as i told my master's story. Remember to always learn who a person is before you battle them, you may come to regret killing a righteous person." Dominus had just thought, if anyone had killed Nesketar, he would have killed them indefinitely. And here this boy Keinan is saving my life. There has to be some flaw, in not only my skin now, but in my way of thinking and in my motivations. This young sorcerer seems to be guided by God, or God's ways, but he hasn't brought him up once, and look at how righteously he lives. He is brave, brave enough to face the man who just killed his teacher, he is proud, proud enough to still champion his fallen master and tell of his story, and he is honest, he told me the entirety of the history of his guild and its forerunner, his name, and an insight into the truth of battle. But most of all, he chooses to cure instead of kill. All at once, Dominus asked him, "Will you teach me to heal?"

6. Contested.

At the start of our story, he was uncontested. He was never defeated in battle, much less even hurt in battle once. Now, he was contested. He was been cut and proved mortal and able to bleed. He had been put to the brink of death and the fear for his life. And he had been shaken from his path to be the greatest warrior and the hopes for a warrior even greater than him. He was once uncontested, but now, his faith was contested. If it was not God who drove him to the actions and journey that made him renowned in 6 of the 7 continents as the unbeatable Dominus, what was it? Was it simply pride? And not pride like the kind he was said to have as a boy, for his family and for the Lord, no, the pride that kills and drives men to vanity. Was it justification? He had made the choice to be a Templar, and there was already blood on his hands, so was all he had to do live out the rest of his life putting more blood on them, nihilisitically creating moral reasoning for his killing? Was it fate? He had done all of this dueling, been in combat for too many occasions to count, and all of it's lead him to Keinan, where he would now learn to become a healer and cure others of their ailments and wounds.

Dominus raised his voice, "Asoria!" and the inquisitor from the north stood from the altar. His cut had scarred and he was ready to leave the battlefield and come to join the guild of sorcerers, who were now all healers. Keinan was their new master, and Dominus his apprentice. Deus Ex Machina hung on the wall of the guild to remind him of what brought him here, that the path of battle was what lead all to the need for healing, and that need for healing was what would drive them to seek out becoming a healer. Like Christ before him, the scar on his ankle like the scar on Christ's rib, palms, and feet, he was now remedying the fallen and the diseased. He would always look down at his achilles and remember how he felt when he was cut by Xeneus, and use that to sympathize with those he was healing. It was what humanized him and, though he felt forsaken, what brought him to true divinity and the true path of God. It was the stigmata of the wanderer Dominus Azarus.